I'm sure it's a combination of hormones, weird dreams, fear, and frustration at how slowly some things are happening, but today I feel small and tired and a little bit weepy. You know how some days, you feel like you're on top of a mountain, triumphant, looking out over the valley spread beneath you, and other days you feel like you're at the base of the mountain, looking up at how far you still have to go? Yeah. That's how I feel today.
Mostly, it's stemming from having a lot of debt (mostly student loans) and not being able to throw much money at the problem. My income's been holding pretty steady, and it's most likely going to increase, but...well...I spent so much of the past 3 years in extreme poverty, not being able to take care of things, that it's hard to shake the mindset of "things are getting better, but OMG I have to hold on to every penny I can in case x, y, z happens...."
I need a plan.
I need to take it one thing at a time, at least for a while. Ok, maybe two things at a time, because even if I'm only making very tiny student loan payments, at least it will show good faith...right?
Thank You, God, for holding my hand as I confront my fears. Thank You for the abundant business that will enable me to pay my debts. Thank You for continuing to keep things at bay so that I can deal with them one at a time. With You, all things are truly possible, and I can't wait to be out from under this burden!
So. What can I do today?
I can make a tiny payment on both the student loans and a credit card. I can make my bed and put my laundry away. I can start on a baby bonnet and booties for E's brother and his wife. I can create momentum. I can be hugely grateful for all the amazing things in my life. I can go to work tonight and earn a living doing what I love.
Ok. Here goes.....
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
Friday, January 25, 2013
4/52: 52 Weeks of Happy!
(Ahem. Yes, obviously, snails have mouths. But I'd never seen one until two days ago - Fibonacci ate some algae on the front of the tank - and it really, truly is totally adorable!)
*yawn*
I had to lie to myself this morning in order to get out of bed. "Come on, Self - just go put your clothes in the dryer, and start the coffee, and you can go back to sleep for a little while!" It worked, and while I'm still feeling sorry for myself (mornings are the worst part of my day, I'm not good at waking up), I've had cereal and coffee and am getting ready for clients 1 and 2 (of 6)!
About that: Job #1 has picked up considerably in the last two weeks, and the other massage therapist at Job #2 has abruptly decided to move to Ohio...Boss #2 offered me her days in addition to my own, and while eventually I would LOVE to be full-time there, I just don't feel right about quitting the first job yet, especially with little notice. I'm not super busy there, but I do have a small and loyal clientele, and just up and leaving them feels icky. Sooo, I've bought myself a little time by picking up a guaranteed 3 clients on Monday afternoons, while keeping my Monday morning availability at the first job. It's entirely possible that I may shortly be busier than I ever expected, and I'm ready to make some serious hay while the sun shines! Plans for the increased income include, but are not limited to: paying down some bills, building up my savings account, a weekend trip to Boston, some new yarn to play with, a few potential car repairs, and continuing to toss money into my three jar funds: Move-In, Maybe Baby, and Chicken Money! :o)
So, yeah. I may be tired, but it will be very worth it. E, thankfully, is all for it, knowing as she does the nature of a "busy season" - hers (graduation photos) is coming up in the late spring. She's staying home from work today with a cough and a fever (as of last night) of 100 degrees. Poor love!! My plan is to stay at her place after work tonight and take care of her, while NOT getting sick. We haven't caught each others' colds yet...fingers crossed...
The weather's stayed cold, and we're supposed to get a few inches of snow today. Hoping it doesn't muddle me up too badly...I have a lot to do between 12 and 2:30 today, including laundry, picking up and depositing my paycheck, and possibly going for a run at the gym. I absolutely LOVE banking at the local credit union I grew up with, but they don't have Saturday hours. Ah well, the trade-off is well worth it.
Happy Friday Morning, Blogland!
About that: Job #1 has picked up considerably in the last two weeks, and the other massage therapist at Job #2 has abruptly decided to move to Ohio...Boss #2 offered me her days in addition to my own, and while eventually I would LOVE to be full-time there, I just don't feel right about quitting the first job yet, especially with little notice. I'm not super busy there, but I do have a small and loyal clientele, and just up and leaving them feels icky. Sooo, I've bought myself a little time by picking up a guaranteed 3 clients on Monday afternoons, while keeping my Monday morning availability at the first job. It's entirely possible that I may shortly be busier than I ever expected, and I'm ready to make some serious hay while the sun shines! Plans for the increased income include, but are not limited to: paying down some bills, building up my savings account, a weekend trip to Boston, some new yarn to play with, a few potential car repairs, and continuing to toss money into my three jar funds: Move-In, Maybe Baby, and Chicken Money! :o)
So, yeah. I may be tired, but it will be very worth it. E, thankfully, is all for it, knowing as she does the nature of a "busy season" - hers (graduation photos) is coming up in the late spring. She's staying home from work today with a cough and a fever (as of last night) of 100 degrees. Poor love!! My plan is to stay at her place after work tonight and take care of her, while NOT getting sick. We haven't caught each others' colds yet...fingers crossed...
The weather's stayed cold, and we're supposed to get a few inches of snow today. Hoping it doesn't muddle me up too badly...I have a lot to do between 12 and 2:30 today, including laundry, picking up and depositing my paycheck, and possibly going for a run at the gym. I absolutely LOVE banking at the local credit union I grew up with, but they don't have Saturday hours. Ah well, the trade-off is well worth it.
Happy Friday Morning, Blogland!
Monday, January 21, 2013
brrrrrr!
It's COLD. Really cold. We had a low of 7 degrees (Fahrenheit) today, and that's not counting the wicked wind chill factor, lol. And it's going to be even colder overnight!
Cold enough that I worry about my aging car. Cold enough that I really did not want to got back to work for my third client of the day - I would much rather have remained curled up in my blue down blanket, sipping another mug of coconut flavored coffee and watching the snow fall. Cold enough that I came straight home after work instead of going to the gym.
It sure is great watch-the-Red-Wings-game-while-working-on-a-wool-blankie weather, though!
Today was fairly productive - three clients, laundry in progress, and I FINALLY cleared and organized the bookshelf that's been driving me nuts for months. So hockey and a yarn-athon (and some leftover pesto pasta with avocados and tomatoes) make for a nice, relaxing evening. :o)
I love working on this blanket. Like, whoa. I love knowing that it's going to keep us warm on nights like tonight. I love thinking about all the nights we'll spend under it, cuddling and talking and falling asleep...all the forts we'll make with it...all the movie nights we'll pull it off the bed, all the joy we'll get from the riot of color on gray days. I love making something that has a story, something with hopes and dreams woven through it, something that makes me happy down to my soul. I can't wait to finish it!
Cold enough that I worry about my aging car. Cold enough that I really did not want to got back to work for my third client of the day - I would much rather have remained curled up in my blue down blanket, sipping another mug of coconut flavored coffee and watching the snow fall. Cold enough that I came straight home after work instead of going to the gym.
It sure is great watch-the-Red-Wings-game-while-working-on-a-wool-blankie weather, though!
Today was fairly productive - three clients, laundry in progress, and I FINALLY cleared and organized the bookshelf that's been driving me nuts for months. So hockey and a yarn-athon (and some leftover pesto pasta with avocados and tomatoes) make for a nice, relaxing evening. :o)
I love working on this blanket. Like, whoa. I love knowing that it's going to keep us warm on nights like tonight. I love thinking about all the nights we'll spend under it, cuddling and talking and falling asleep...all the forts we'll make with it...all the movie nights we'll pull it off the bed, all the joy we'll get from the riot of color on gray days. I love making something that has a story, something with hopes and dreams woven through it, something that makes me happy down to my soul. I can't wait to finish it!
Friday, January 18, 2013
3/52: 52 Weeks of Happy!
Seeing Falcor on the big screen for the first time ever!
Cereal and strawberries for breakfast on a sunny winter morning.
Buying three books from a wonderful, local used bookstore that just happens to be named after my favorite book in the Chronicles of Narnia!
Not pictured: losing two pounds in two weeks (only three to go - I'm a small girl, mainly focusing on gaining strength and endurance); getting my MI driver's license and finding out I get to keep my old number - which is awesome since I still have it memorized; and FINALLY finding a decent (soft, dark blue, and unisex - i refuse to wear elastic-waist pants) pair of scrubs for Job #2, which means I get to work in my pajamas! I love my life! :o)
Friday, January 11, 2013
2/52: 52 Weeks of Happy!
Garlicky sauteed kale, an egg, and a whole-wheat toasted thin bagel for breakfast - omnomnomnomnom.
Also, had my first chiropractic adjustment in years today, and my spine is curving perfectly in all the right places! Hips were rotated funny (I really have to stop sitting with my wallet in my back pocket), but otherwise, everything's where it ought to be. :o)
Monday, January 7, 2013
1/52: 52 Weeks of Happy!
Joining in with the rest of blogland, here's my first 52 Weeks of Happy post! Things that filled my heart with joy last week (I'm a couple days late):
Pretty, sunny, snowy days
This slooooowly growing rainbow scarf
Mmmmmmm, bacon chocolate...
new workout plan, to work off the bacon chocolate (and train for the Warrior Dash in July!)
Returning to Detroit's Masonic Temple - home of the Detroit Derby Girls
Enjoying a derby doubleheader (and a beer) with the love of my life
Snow in the Motor City
Other things, not pictured: my new navy blue clearance-priced peacoat, the yummy glass of apple/carrot/chard/beet juice I made yesterday, and the new bottle of Tide waiting for me in the basement. Pretty amazing first week of 2013, wouldn't you say?
Pretty, sunny, snowy days
Mmmmmmm, bacon chocolate...
new workout plan, to work off the bacon chocolate (and train for the Warrior Dash in July!)
Returning to Detroit's Masonic Temple - home of the Detroit Derby Girls
Enjoying a derby doubleheader (and a beer) with the love of my life
Snow in the Motor City
Other things, not pictured: my new navy blue clearance-priced peacoat, the yummy glass of apple/carrot/chard/beet juice I made yesterday, and the new bottle of Tide waiting for me in the basement. Pretty amazing first week of 2013, wouldn't you say?
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