Thursday, September 25, 2014

projects

 shiny new shoes! these count as a project, because finding shoes that were not horrid, clash-y neon colors took several frustrating days. i had a pair of Roos as a kid, and still think they're terrific - even with the useless velcro pocket. eight-year-old me managed to wedge a quarter into that pocket, but could never get it out again.


 this hat is a Christmas present for my older sister. the yarn is Lion Brand Amazing, in the Regatta colorway, and as soon as i saw the word "regatta", i thought of A, who used to do a lot of competitive sailing but is now land-locked in Colorado. she's very musical, and going through a belated Joni Mitchell period, so i'm making her a slouchy hat to wear while she plays her guitar.

(Christmas is THREE. MONTHS. AWAY. hoooooly cow!!!)

 THIS. i'm very excited about this. we have a lot of downed tree limbs around this year, courtesy of a string of bad storms, and i've found a use for this one. today, i bought an 18" round unfinished table top for $7...now all i need are some wood screws and a borrowed saw (i own a drill already), and Houdini will have a custom-made scratching post!


i haven't got a picture for my next project, but i'm closer to getting my massage license! they received my application, my high school transcripts (to prove that i graduated) are ordered and en route, and today i dropped off the education verification paperwork at my massage school. three down, three to go: verification of my WA license, verification that i passed the NCBTMB exam, and fingerprints/background check.


this isn't a project, it's just something i meant to talk about and forgot. back in mid-August, we got to tour hand-built replicas of the Nina and the Pinta - two of the ships that brought Columbus to the New World. i'm not a fan of Columbus...the New World was already inhabited, and had actually already been discovered by non-native cultures (the Vikings for sure, and possibly even the Chinese), and he ushered in an age of genocide that absolutely does not deserve to have its own national holiday. however, i'm a huge history buff, so getting to step aboard historically accurate ships from an historically important voyage was pretty damn cool!

you know what? they're small. SO SMALL. both ships were under 100 feet long, and not very wide. imagining three of these crossing the Atlantic Ocean, when they were dwarfed by the freighters on the Detroit River, was staggering - even more so considering that ships of this time period pre-date the invention of the nautical steering wheel by a couple hundred years. and yet those three little ships are the culturally accepted launch point for American history. from those three little ships, came all of this. as grateful as i am to be alive, i just...wow. i can't stop thinking that exploring the replicas was like looking at a couple of Black Death bacteria under a microscope. so tiny, and responsible for so much destruction.

mind-blowing.


  

Sunday, September 21, 2014

the week

* Lola the Jeep did NOT need any sudden repairs! the "leak" was nothing more than leftover fluid in the old brake line making its way out. i'm jubilant! i'm ecstatic! i'm...wishing they would've told me that could happen and saved me hours of panic!

*Dallas (aka Tripod, aka Sir Pups-a-lot, aka Nibbles) is settling in nicely. he's getting plenty of exercise, and we're working on sitting, staying, and the all-important Get Down. he loves to fence-race with Ruger, the neighbor dog, and he barks his fool head off at every person he encounters...including drive-through cashiers. E took him downstairs yesterday for an official cat visit (there have been a few unofficial, tearing-down-the-stairs-after-him visits), and Houdini puffed her fur out, sized him up, and swatted him. personally, i consider this progress - she's getting used to his noise and scent, and has figured out that she can mount an offensive instead of running for cover. also, we are in contact with a trainer who does the temperament tests for the shelter, and who promised a free training session to the next adopter after Dallas was returned. so, to sum up, pupperton will get some proper training, and eventually the cat will free-range in the house again.

*Mom's foot surgery went perfectly, and she is now recuperating in her recliner. we took up all the area rugs in the house, and she's been scooting around in a wheeled office chair. you'd hardly know she's injured - she's been keeping up on the dishwasher (MOM! you need to let me do some of this stuff!!!), and today she made herself a grilled-cheese sandwich.

*sometimes you really need a bucket of fried chicken, some biscuits, and a tub of coleslaw. don't ask me why. it's a mystery of the universe.

*i'm making progress on the licensing. high school transcripts have been sent; next up, i drop off education verification paperwork to my massage school.

*you know what's marvelous? getting through an exhausting, stressful, pulled-in-all-directions week, crying a few times, wondering why your anxiety seems out of proportion, doing some navel-gazing...and realizing that that sense of being in perpetual disgrace that you've been carrying around for 13 years (encompassing your failure to graduate from college, several bouts of depression, several horrific endings to relationships, being fired from a job, being unable to find a job, several moves across state lines, and several poor decisions that seemed right at the time) is complete and utter bullshit. you are not in disgrace. you were NEVER in disgrace. the Israelites had to wander in the wilderness for FORTY YEARS - you only wandered for eleven, but it took you two more to figure out that you were free. FREE!!!


Monday, September 15, 2014

dog days

so, this happened:
we rescued this guy from the animal shelter on Friday morning and, apart from some mild separation anxiety, he's fitting in just fine. he's a judicious barker (except for barking extra-long at men), and a big snuggly baby who likes to nibble on clothes and ears. he's f*cking adorable, and we really don't understand why someone gave up such a great dog!

he and Houdini have yet to be formally introduced...she's still at Mom's, but Mom is having foot surgery this Friday, so the cat was slated to move back to E's mid-week before we got Tripod, and we're just going to have to stick to that plan and see how things go. i'm not expecting it to be a bed of roses, lol...but the pup is very chill, and the house is big enough for the cat to have her own space when she needs it.

in other news, after leaking something that looked suspiciously like brake fluid in a client's driveway yesterday afternoon (yet not last night or this morning), the Jeep is back in the shop today. sigh. Lola does have a history of cluster repairs, and it has been a couple years since the last cluster, so here's hoping we're just getting things out of the way before winter!

the weather has cooled down dramatically, and i've been pretty giddy about it! fall has always been my favorite season - the leaves, the smells, the hoodies and hats, Halloween and Thanksgiving...this is tea-drinking, soup-making weather, and i am loving every minute!

Sunday, September 7, 2014

power(less)

it's been quite the interesting week!

on tuesday, i mailed in my license application and a money order for $95. on tuesday evening, my brake line rusted through as i was driving home from work. fortunately, i was only two blocks from my street, with very light traffic; even more fortunately, the repair shop we've used for years is, literally, around the block - i passed it, actually. had i been thinking clearly, i would've parked the jeep there and walked home! instead, followed by E, i drove it (sloooooooooooowly) there by the back streets early the next morning. the beautiful thing about working opposite shifts from one's beloved is, as long as you've got one working car between you at all times, you're going to be ok.

long story short: new brake line, $197. working car, priceless.

on friday, we were expecting some inclement weather, and it did not disappoint. i was camped out in Mom's recliner, catching up on Pinterest, cat on my lap, listening to the approaching storm. the minutes ticked by. the wind picked up, the rain came down, the lightning flashed, i unplugged the laptop and said, to the cat, "ok, here we go..."

...and the lights went out.  "Seriously?!", i said, indignant; but we're on the same grid as the police station, so i fully expected the lights to come back on before bed. they didn't. and they were still out the next morning when i drove to work...where the power was also out. yours truly performed three massages by the light of her headlamp before driving home, fingers crossed...

...nope.

i did as much cleaning as possible with no vacuum, hand-washed some dishes, straightened up the house, mourned my leftover Chinese food, took a nap, then went to dinner with E, where we discussed weddings and wedding bands before i left to pick up Mom from the airport. "Welcome Home, sorry the power's still out!"

this morning, our neighbor ran an extension cord from his generator to our kitchen, so we could plug in the refrigerator and (HALLELUJAH) coffee maker, and then we walked down the street to check out the generations-old willow tree that came crashing down, taking the power lines out with it:


currently, the estimated repair time is 11:30pm on tuesday. we remain optimistic. in the meantime, i'm staying the night at E's, and letting Mom have the rest of the hot water at home, lol. E is napping before work, and i am going to make meatloaf, mashed potatoes, and roasted carrots for dinner, praying all the while for a less interesting (read: expensive) week ahead.


Monday, September 1, 2014

labor day

after a lovely rainy morning spent eating chocolate cake, drinking coffee, and pretty much just hanging out while listening to the Ani DiFranco/Utah Phillips album "Fellow Workers", E headed home to do laundry and get ready for tonight's shift.

tomorrow is the traditional first day of the school year, and that's probably why, for me, September has always felt like a more appropriate time to make goals and resolutions for a new year. so much anticipation in the air! new supplies, new clothes, a heart full of potential, ready for a Fresh Start.

*dreamy sigh*

*arranges notebook and pencils*

here are the goals i'm working on right now:

-Minimize possessions
-Become an active participant in activism for things i believe in
-Get my MI massage license
-Pay off credit card and student loans
-Get new shocks, struts, and tires
-Build a $1,000 emergency fund
-Learn new modalities/broaden my skill set

today, i'm taking lots of small steps - doing laundry, sorting through and consolidating boxes of things in the basement, joining my MichFest sisters in emailing the NCLR's board of directors, finishing my license application, window-shopping to compare tire prices, and rewarding myself for all the above by trying out a pattern for a crocheted baby cowboy hat. progress and yarn go so well together, yes?

enjoy the holiday, and take a minute to thank those who went before us and fought for better wages, hours, and working conditions...and remember the millions around the world for whom these rights are still a dream.

Sunday, August 24, 2014

all the things

happiness is taking a nap at Fest in your new bungee hammock on your half-day off, while someone nearby plays soulful music on an alto saxophone.

re-entry means repeatedly waking up in the middle of the night, in our bed, confused - why am i in a community sleep tent and not my own?

the cat knocked the following off the dresser: a Galileo thermometer, and two glass jars containing agates and sea glass from beach combing adventures. i was picking rocks out of a pool of glass shards and what smells like wood varnish for an hour.

the room still smells like wood varnish.

more and more, i'm jettisoning old stuff and working my way toward a minimalist lifestyle. the following exceptions have been noted thus far: Christmas ornaments, t shirts, and books.

E's mom finally, finally cleaned out the linen closet while we were at Fest, and this weekend we actually put stuff in it! no more storing baking pans in random places!

yesterday, in my head, i built and decorated a tiny house on wheels. i also washed dishes while listening to Christmas carols.

i sheared E's head with the clippers today, while singing, "Baa Baa, Butch Sheep, have you any wool?" - she baaa'd very nicely.

Mom leaves for a trip to Oregon on Wednesday, and i plan to do the following things: jettison as many belongings as possible without interference; wash Hello Kitty fabric and make pajama bottoms for my sister, K; wash fabric for dolls and cut out pattern pieces; dust the ceiling; cook sweet potato lentils.

today, i used my mini doughnut pan for the first time:


pumpkin doughnuts! now that Fest is over, i can't wait for Fall to get here...

Monday, August 18, 2014

from Lisa Vogel

Statement from Michigan Womyn’s Music Festival August 18, 2014
Many demands have been made of the Michigan Womyn’s Music Festival (“Michfest”) via the Equality Michigan call for a boycott launched July 28, 2014. We have a few demands of our own.
1. Get Your Facts Straight
As the 39th Festival closes and we turn our hearts and minds to our landmark 40th anniversary, we reiterate that Michfest recognizes trans womyn as womyn - and they are our sisters. We do not fear their presence among us, a false claim repeatedly made. What we resist – and what we will never stop fighting – is the continued erasure and disrespect for the specific experience of being born and living as female in a patriarchal, misogynist world.
Over 20 years ago, we asked Nancy Burkholder, a trans womon, to leave the Land. That was wrong, and for that, we are sorry. We, alongside the rest of the LGBTQ community, have learned and changed a great deal over our 39-year history. We speak to you now in 2014 after two decades of evolution; an evolution grown from our willingness to stay in hard conversations, just as we do every year around issues of race, ability, class and gender. Since that single incident, Festival organizers have never asked a trans womon to leave the Festival. We have a radical commitment to creating a space where for one week a year, no one's gender is questioned - it's one of the most unique and valued aspects of the Festival. The Michfest community has always been populated by womyn who bear the burden of unwanted gender scrutiny every day.
The truth is, trans womyn and trans men attend the Festival, blog about their experiences, and work on crew. Again, it is not the inclusion of trans womyn at Festival that we resist; it is the erasure of the specificity of female experience in the discussion of about the space itself that stifles progress in this conversation. As long as those who boycott and threaten Michfest do not acknowledge the reasons why the space was created in the first place, and has remained vital for four decades, the conversation remains deadlocked.
2. Acknowledge the Validity of Autonomous, Female-Defined Space
Michfest is widely known as a predominantly lesbian community. This does not mean that heterosexual womyn, bisexual womyn, or those who do not share this identity are not present or welcome. But for a week, we collectively experience a lesbian-centered world; we experience what it feels like to be in a community defined by lesbian culture.
There are trans womyn and trans men who attend and work at the Festival who participate in the Michfest community in this same spirit – as supporters of, rather than detractors from, our female-focused culture. The presence of trans womyn at Michfest has been misrepresented as a kind of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.” But the real issue is about the focus of the event, a focus on the experience of those born female, who’ve lived their lives subjected to oppression based on the sole fact of their being female.
In an August 4, 2014 article titled “What Is a Woman: The Dispute Between Radical Feminism and Transgenderism,” The New Yorker magazine documents the extremism of the current push for language that erases the female experience. The board of the New York Abortion Access Fund, for example, “voted unanimously to stop using the word ‘women’ when talking about people who get pregnant. A Change.org petition directed at NARAL and Planned Parenthood “specifically criticizes the hash tag ‪#‎StandWithTexasWomen‬. . .and the phrase ‘Trust Women.’”
We see this same pressure for erasure of a specifically female reality when “Pussy Manifesto,” the female empowerment song written by the performers Bitch and Animal, now embraced as an unofficial Michfest anthem, is disparaged by some as transphobic – as was the event “A Night of A Thousand Vaginas” – solely for the use of the words vagina and pussy.
If it is considered transphobic to talk about our pussies, our vaginas, or to even use the word female as specific to sex, our movement is dangerously close to using the same tactics as the far right, womyn hating, Michigan Republican leadership, who revoked the speaking privileges of two female legislators for saying the word vagina out loud on the Michigan State House floor. What has our movement come to when the mere articulation of your own experience in your own female body is denounced as an injury to another? It’s time to examine the core issue here, which is our right to create an autonomous space focused on a female-defined experience.
3. Acknowledge That Michfest Creates Spaces That Do Not Exist Elsewhere
This year, thousands of womyn and girls from 3 weeks to 92 years old attended our 39th Festival. This included over 75 deaf womyn who came to rejuvenate and be in community. Nearly 200 womyn with disabilities came into the woods to thrive. At one of the workshops held this year, young womyn stated that until they came to Festival, they had never seen an old gender-non-conforming female in person; they did not know that those womyn existed. We built this space to let these womyn be seen and celebrated. We built this space around the fierce solidarity of female experience that has always been and continues to be deconstructed into invisibility; where that unique experience is relegated to a place of dishonor. Whenever females honor ourselves, wherever we take up space, and sit collectively in the source of our collective power, we are burned and stoned, both literally and metaphorically.
4. Turn Your Energy Towards the Real Enemies of Female and LGBTQ Liberation
While the abuse and disenfranchisement of womyn and girls escalates around the world and LGBTQ people experience life-threatening harms, LGBTQ organizations have turned inwards on a curious target – a weeklong music festival that does not ban or exclude anyone, that simply seeks to devote its focus to an experience that is denigrated in the larger world: the experience of being born and living as female.
Equality Michigan and the organizations endorsing its petition including HRC, the Task Force, NCLR and the National Black Justice Coalition, are targeting Michfest with McCarthy-era blacklist tactics. Specifically, they have called for attendees and artists to boycott the event, and – astonishingly – have threatened the livelihood of artists and vendors by branding those who participate in the Festival as “having committed anti-transgender discrimination.”
These organizations are targeting artists who perform at Michfest while remaining completely silent when queer-identified artists play at venues that generate profits for racist, transphobic, and homophobic corporate entities and individuals, whose interests are dangerous to the global LGBTQ movement and all basic human rights.
We call on the constituents, donors, and dues-paying members of the LGBTQ institutions targeting Michfest to hold them accountable for this misuse and misdirection of organizational resources, and to withdraw their time and dollars from these organizations until the targeting of Michfest ends. Sisters - we urge you to redirect your money to organizations that speak to your lives and speak for you.
5. Join the Conversation, Not the Digital Sound Bite War
Our community is strong enough to hold disagreement and to engage deeply with each other, face-to-face, through difficulty. The Michfest community welcomes conversation; we do not stifle it. We have and will continue to remain in community with those trans womyn for whom Michfest has been home; trans womyn like those organizing the New Narratives Conference who do not require females to disappear ourselves or our unique experiences to prove our political and social solidarity.
Michfest has always existed outside the gender binary. We built this city out of a radical diversity of age, culture, race, class and gender. We continue the revolutionary work of digging out from under the boot of patriarchy; a system of oppression so omnipresent, it is invisible in the analysis used by the very organizations who are supposed to be fighting alongside and for us. We are fierce allies to and members of the trans and broader LGBTQ movement – but our alliance cannot and will not be premised on our continued erasure.
We turn to our LGBTQ community and say: we hear your truths; we ask you to acknowledge that you hear ours. Listen to the voices of the tens of thousands of women who call Michfest home. Join the conversation in person in your home communities, not exclusively through social media platforms or online petitions. We invite our sisters to participate in this conversation in person on the Land. Make room in your heart to hold difference of opinion and disagreement – this is the challenging path to honoring true diversity. We turn to our LGBTQ community and ask you to unite with us in the belief that we can work together as a movement and stand together in solidarity. We ask you to work with us, not against us.